We've all done it. To some it is a secret shame and to others it was simple curiosity. If you can find someone who hasn't done it within six months of owning one, then I can show you someone who's a filthy fucking liar. The fact of the matter is that vibrating devices, let alone wireless controllers, are all destined to eventually touch someones genitals, so it's only natural that we should finally have a product like Remote Masseuse by Entrager, available today on Xbox Live.
A potentially amorous by-product of Microsoft's recent move towards community development (see; XNA), Remote Masseuse allows you to control the speed and/or power of your controller's vibration feature. In effect this allows you to turn your gamepad into a clunky massage device of sorts, but in reality that means you can now effectively get yourself off with it. 'Bout damn time, too.
A maturbat solo mode allows you to... "massage" yourself alone, or you can go online and massage other people, possibly people you've never met before! :D There is even voice-chat support so that you or your partner can request "the kind of massage they would like to receive". Otherwise, we'd have to use the clunky Xbox interface to type things like "mmm yeah, faster please" or "take that bitch off stun and set it to 'bust'".
At a measly $2.50USD, there's a good chance you have the 200 points to buy this already sitting in your account, possibly waiting for the next batch of shitty Guitar Hero DLC. There is a demo you can try online as well for the low low cost of free. It's a marketing scheme awfully similar to the internet-porn industries...
Having tried the demo, my verdict is gonna have to be "mmm... *O-face*". You know what I'm talkin' 'bout, yeeeaahhh... ;)
-Unfather
A maturbat solo mode allows you to... "massage" yourself alone, or you can go online and massage other people, possibly people you've never met before! :D There is even voice-chat support so that you or your partner can request "the kind of massage they would like to receive". Otherwise, we'd have to use the clunky Xbox interface to type things like "mmm yeah, faster please" or "take that bitch off stun and set it to 'bust'".
At a measly $2.50USD, there's a good chance you have the 200 points to buy this already sitting in your account, possibly waiting for the next batch of shitty Guitar Hero DLC. There is a demo you can try online as well for the low low cost of free. It's a marketing scheme awfully similar to the internet-porn industries...
Having tried the demo, my verdict is gonna have to be "mmm... *O-face*". You know what I'm talkin' 'bout, yeeeaahhh... ;)
-Unfather
I'm glad you like it!
Posted by: Entrager | February 12, 2009 at 07:52 AM
Like it?
No, I LOVE it. *vvvvbbbbbbbbbb*
Posted by: Unfather | February 12, 2009 at 09:50 AM