fortytwo points

Fortytwo Points Gets the Best Birthday Present / Marketing Material Ever

I turned 25 today and although we swore not to get each other anything, my love got me by far the best gift I have ever gotten. I am fully devoted to making this website into something special and knowing that, my girlfriend Reembeat designed and ordered two of these awesome t-shirts (one for me and one for her). You can see The Reemster modeling her's below:

Like any respectable broke-ass website owner, I plan on hawking these suckers right here on fortytwo points. That way you can out-obscure people with your choice in amateur game sites.

-Unfather

Watchmen Saturday Morning Cartoon

Okay, it has nothing to do with video games but who isn't excited to see The Watchmen movie?

It was a rhetorical question.

The movie drops tomorrow, but until then, enjoy this mock Saturday Morning Cartoon by HarryPartridge:

Genius. Gotta love the nuances, and my thanks to King-mag.com for pointing this one out.

-Unfather

Extended Viewing with Halo Wars: Other People's Reviews

I haven't played the full version of Halo Wars yet and quite frankly probably won't any time soon, but I did offer my two cents about the demo with a review that you can see here.

The gist is that while it's functional, I'm not a fan.

But of course like most people in the world, I'm a fucktard in many regards, and if you just swallowed my view without a counter-opinion, well, that might just make you one too. So, to not help propagate exactly what I created this site to fight against, I've come across a few video reviews of Ensemble's latest and final effort and I decided to post them up here for your consideration.

Vadrum Rocks Super Mario Bros.

There's no end to the number of videos showcasing someone playing a video game theme on some unwitting and likely unfitting instrument, but this has to be one of the best:

You can check out more of Vadrum's work here on his YouTube channel. This guy's like the John Bonham of nerd-drummers.

That is, if John Bonham had died a virgin.

-Unfather

The Great Thing About The Internet Is

Olivia Munn has been an awkward fit for G4 since day one but goddamned if she hasn't tried harder than anyone to fit in. And with some success, too, as she slowly becomes an acceptable part of their line-up. It's clear that she was hired as (and continues to be) eye-candy for Attack of the Show, but that doesn't change the fact that she happens to be have an appealing personality. She has a natural charisma that makes her as good at talking about shit she doesn't care about as she is at filling out a Wonder Woman costume.

I love attractive women as much as the next guy but I don't like when they mix with mass nerd culture because once they do, nerds tend to start embarrassing themselves. Like when they come out of their mother's basements in droves to sign a petition to have Olivia Munn jump into a pie. Actually no one had to come out of their basement for that now that I'm thinking about it, but still, over 61,000 signatures in a lot.

Really? 61,000 people had nothing better to do than to vote Olivia Munn into a pie? All I have to say to that is "... c'mon."

But damned if this isn't hot:

Look at those legs. Kevin Pereira has got to be doing yoga or something, MMM. ;)

-Unfather

GTA IV DLC Gives us Wang and We Say "Thanks?"

1Up's Kat Bailey shared with the world yesterday some ground-breaking news; there's gonna be dick in GTA IV's Lost and the Damned DLC. Now, that's probably not going to be the reason why Xbox Live owners pick it up today (it's out today, remember?), and it's probably not going to be appreciated amongst the seemingly homophobic GTA IV community, but it is significant for the precedent it sets. Mainstream games, or their DLC at least, can now have full frontal.

This may be the beginning of a new area of art house-style experimentation amongst game developers or it may be the porn industries first serious foray into the digital entertainment market. Either way I welcome this shift in atittude, despite the fact that I will be skipping past this particular part of history. It means new people will work with games and that in turn will generate new ideas (even though the first few will probably suuuuck). Rockstar has opened a door that someone only had to dare open, and now every one else can benefit from it.

You probably don't, but if you want to see the first schlong rendered in a popular video game, check out the video below. I won't tell:

(update 2/22/09: dick video got pulled and I can't find another. sorry meat gazers, you're just gonna have to download it)

Okay, I lied I'm totally telling. Your IP is...

-Unfather

Impressions Via Sketch: Far Cry 2, Hour 4

Impressions Via Sketch: Far Cry 2, Hour 2

Impressions Via Sketch: Far Cry 2, Hour 1

Thank Your Lord It's Finally Here: Remote Masseuse for Xbox Live

We've all done it. To some it is a secret shame and to others it was simple curiosity. If you can find someone who hasn't done it within six months of owning one, then I can show you someone who's a filthy fucking liar. The fact of the matter is that vibrating devices, let alone wireless controllers, are all destined to eventually touch someones genitals, so it's only natural that we should finally have a product like Remote Masseuse by Entrager, available today on Xbox Live.

A potentially amorous by-product of Microsoft's recent move towards community development (see; XNA), Remote Masseuse allows you to control the speed and/or power of your controller's vibration feature. In effect this allows you to turn your gamepad into a clunky massage device of sorts, but in reality that means you can now effectively get yourself off with it. 'Bout damn time, too.

A maturbat solo mode allows you to... "massage" yourself alone, or you can go online and massage other people, possibly people you've never met before! :D There is even voice-chat support so that you or your partner can request "the kind of massage they would like to receive". Otherwise, we'd have to use the clunky Xbox interface to type  things like "mmm yeah, faster please" or "take that bitch off stun and set it to 'bust'".

At a measly $2.50USD, there's a good chance you have the 200 points to buy this already sitting in your account, possibly waiting for the next batch of shitty Guitar Hero DLC. There is a demo you can try online as well for the low low cost of free. It's a marketing scheme awfully similar to the internet-porn industries...

Having tried the demo, my verdict is gonna have to be "mmm... *O-face*". You know what I'm talkin' 'bout, yeeeaahhh... ;)

-Unfather