fortytwo points

Pandemic and EA's The Saboteur Brings Us Back to WWII; Nazis Groan

I've certainly made no effort to garner EA's The Publisher's good will in the past, but despite my ill comments I am willing to accept that they frequently have their hands shoved into the warm, beating chest cavities of great developing partners. This time it's Pandemic's heart that is at risk, yet I can't help feeling like, maybe this time, it will be for the better. Having access to pockets that deep should certainly help a little...

Pandemic have built themselves a sound legacy with Full Spectrum Warrior, Destroy All Humans! 1 and 2, and the Mercenaries games, yet they've never really exploded into the zeitgeist with a smash hit that the community just can't stop talking about. They seem to have an excellent talent for creating engrossing worlds and genuinely likable (if not sometimes hollow) characters, so hopefully their latest efforts with Saboteur for the Xbox360 and PS3 will change this.

You play as an Irish racer who decides to fight his own war against the Nazis after they kill one of his friends. The protagonist was inspired by William Grover-Williams, a war hero for the French Resistance during WWII, and your most important weapons are infiltration and sabotage. Using them, an arsenal of period appropriate lead-spitters, and your own cold, murderous hands, you set out to reclaim portions of occupied territory for the native people.

Watchmen Saturday Morning Cartoon

Okay, it has nothing to do with video games but who isn't excited to see The Watchmen movie?

It was a rhetorical question.

The movie drops tomorrow, but until then, enjoy this mock Saturday Morning Cartoon by HarryPartridge:

Genius. Gotta love the nuances, and my thanks to King-mag.com for pointing this one out.

-Unfather

Flashbang's Blush flOws like Spore (the fun parts, that is)

It's sometimes surprising if not downright amazing what social networking can do for you. I really only joined Twitter to compliment fortytwo points with some real-time updates and I never thought it would actually lead me anywhere I cared to be. This parts not surprising, but I was wrong.

As I investigated my few followers in an effort to determine how crazy they must be to have taken an interest in my Twitter account, I found that one of them (at least) probably isn't an individual. Instead, they turned out to be a gaming service.

Now, this is exactly why I never did and really still haven't gotten into the whole web 2.0 hoopla. You're a less valuable community when someone starts using your channels to hawk their wares in what will probably be an apparently objective manner. It's not wrong to sell shit through creative means, but it is wrong to think that someone's your friend and to friend them as if they actually were. Take a look at Tila Tequila. No one in the world actually likes her and yet she has millions of online "friends". Am I the only one who finds a service that facilitates this kind of madness unappealing?

Extended Viewing with Halo Wars: Other People's Reviews

I haven't played the full version of Halo Wars yet and quite frankly probably won't any time soon, but I did offer my two cents about the demo with a review that you can see here.

The gist is that while it's functional, I'm not a fan.

But of course like most people in the world, I'm a fucktard in many regards, and if you just swallowed my view without a counter-opinion, well, that might just make you one too. So, to not help propagate exactly what I created this site to fight against, I've come across a few video reviews of Ensemble's latest and final effort and I decided to post them up here for your consideration.

Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X. may be Rightful Heir to Ace Combat's Abandoned Throne

I don't know how it happened, but some where in my gaming career I became a massive fan of aerial combat games. The first Ace Combat is probably what won me over but it's still a surprise whenever I consider it. I mean, I loathed Top Gun the movie and the game before I ever even knew what that word meant, and frankly, my poor opinion of the license stands after having given it additional opportunities to prove itself. And have you played the theme song in Guitar Hero III yet? If repeating the same 5 goddamned irritating chords in an irritating pattern doesn't make you want to smash someone's expensive HDTV with a plastic instrument, I don't know what will.

 But discussing popular culture in the gay community is not what this site is about, so I apologize for digressing. Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X. by Ubisoft's Romanian division is the newest flight combat title to grace our respective consoles and I have got to say that, by the demo, it's pretty damned good. Here's some gameplay footage I shot myself so that you may consider it without all the bullshit quick-cutting marketing departments like to use:

Vadrum Rocks Super Mario Bros.

There's no end to the number of videos showcasing someone playing a video game theme on some unwitting and likely unfitting instrument, but this has to be one of the best:

You can check out more of Vadrum's work here on his YouTube channel. This guy's like the John Bonham of nerd-drummers.

That is, if John Bonham had died a virgin.

-Unfather

Dawn of War II: So Much More and Sometimes Less Than Expected

The Warhammer universe is one rife with conflict, turmoil, bloodshed, and as far as I can tell, little else. Story-lines never seem to consist of more than some hero selling out to another race and then being taken out in a valiant self-sacrifice by the protagonist, all while alleged millions die in the war. Perhaps that is why the tabletop game is as popular with pasty Mountain Dew-spazzes as it is; it requires little consideration of else other than combat. While Orks, blood-thirsty space marines, and xenomorphs aren't a recipe for scoring a date in even the most desperate situation, they do make for a great video game, and Dawn of War II for the PC proficiently proves this.

Relic's latest effort is a drastic shift from the original Dawn of War game but it is strongly in the vein of their close-combat tactics style. The game is much better for it too, I should add. Joining a unit called the Blood Ravens as their Force Commander, you are a soldier who's record in battle is tremendous and who can literally crash through stone walls at will. Atypical to every plot in the 40K universe ever, the combined forces of the vicious Ork tribes, the hyper-advanced Eldar, and the terrifying hordes of the Tyranid are upon you, and you have been tasked with putting a space boot up their asses or die violently trying. And I do mean violently:

GTA: Chinatown Wars Brings the Franchise Back to its Roots

Rockstar will remind us where the Grand Theft Auto franchise came from next month with their brand new Nintendo DS exclusive GTA: Chinatown Wars, and the best part is, they're bringing some great new stuff to the series in the process.

Set in Liberty City once again you play the role of a young man who's father has just been murdered. As you set off to deliver some prized family heirlooms to your uncle, you are attacked and they are stolen by the same Triads who murdered your kin. Driven to take back what's yours and to avenge your father's fate in the process, you set off to make things right once again.

Many seem want to forget it sometimes, but the first two GTA games were exclusively top-down affairs (if no less controversial), and some may even remember the occasionally pinball-like nature of the scoring system. Though the later does not return, the former does, and you control young Huang Lee (the protagonist) from the sky once again, this time with the debatable benefit of cel-shaded graphics. Much of the action is still true to the nature of the series in that you'll be beating down defenseless prostitutes and skidding over crippled pedestrians to your heart's content, but there are some key changes meant to breathe new life into the series and that should be noted.

The Great Thing About The Internet Is

Olivia Munn has been an awkward fit for G4 since day one but goddamned if she hasn't tried harder than anyone to fit in. And with some success, too, as she slowly becomes an acceptable part of their line-up. It's clear that she was hired as (and continues to be) eye-candy for Attack of the Show, but that doesn't change the fact that she happens to be have an appealing personality. She has a natural charisma that makes her as good at talking about shit she doesn't care about as she is at filling out a Wonder Woman costume.

I love attractive women as much as the next guy but I don't like when they mix with mass nerd culture because once they do, nerds tend to start embarrassing themselves. Like when they come out of their mother's basements in droves to sign a petition to have Olivia Munn jump into a pie. Actually no one had to come out of their basement for that now that I'm thinking about it, but still, over 61,000 signatures in a lot.

Really? 61,000 people had nothing better to do than to vote Olivia Munn into a pie? All I have to say to that is "... c'mon."

But damned if this isn't hot:

Look at those legs. Kevin Pereira has got to be doing yoga or something, MMM. ;)

-Unfather

A Delayed Far Cry 2 Review

I know I'm about 6 months too late for this but I've been buried in higher-priority releases and haven't had the time to give Far Cry 2 a proper review. That probably turned out to be a good thing because I've been absorbed by Ubisoft Montreal's jungle crawler for the last week. Looking back, I have to wonder how it was so easy to glance over this excellent experience the first time. This is truly a better game than even some of the largest blockbusters last season.